Oooooone

8:13 p.m.
May 31st, in the year of our Lord, Two Thousand Eight

to be cont'd...

And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed. ~Romans 13:11

Easy

EASY -- That's the skill level designation on the dress pattern I bought for SugarPlum. Well, easy for them to say.

You know, I'm just not great at anything. That's simply the way God made me, and I suspect He knew I'd get all puffed-up, if I excelled at anything. And when it comes to sewing, I don't have the heart or patience to tackle complicated projects. I like straight lines, I abhor making gathers, and I stink at stitching slippery, stretchy fabrics. I can't remember what all those buttons on the sewing machine are for, and I don't know where I put the owner's manual. I probably shouldn't be allowed to sew.

But I couldn't pass up those brightly colored seersuckers on the bolt, so I captured four of them to make SugarPlum dresses. And I bought an EASY pattern.

I was going to make things even easier by cutting two dresses at a time. Carefully aligning the fabrics, I did just that. Imagine my surprise when I discovered one was factory folded lopsided, so that one back shoulder was missing when I finished cutting, and in order to save the dress, I had to find a scrap which matched in pattern, seam it on, and recut that part of the dress piece. If that sentence didn't make any sense, imagine the person who wrote it trying to fix the sewing mess she'd just made. Pitiful.

No, I can't "press" that seam, because I bought waffley fabric, and if I press out the waffles, the dress will be two sizes larger.

Sew around the curve of a neckline, when the garment is barely larger than a Barbie doll dress? 'Xcuse me?

Double an inch-and-a-half snippet of teensy elastic cord, hold it in place, and sew across it to anchor it? So what do I do when the sewing machine needle keeps piercing and picking up the elastic? Is this pattern EASY for two people with four hands? This was to be a group project? Why didn't you tell me?

Of course, I failed to buy notions, so I have to slink back to the store today for hem tape and bias binding.

At least it wasn't a ONE HOUR pattern. Those are plum hateful, and I've been known to glower at such a pattern envelope at the beginning of hour three.

So I started this project yesterday morning, figuring I could whip out at least two finished dresses; another two today. I'd be all ready and rearing to make swim dresses (out of stretchy, slippery fabric--what was I thinking!?) when my ordered yard goods arrive.

The finished dresses number 0 (zero). And this morning, my kitchen table looks like this:

Feel sorry for me. Very, very sorry.
Thank you, and amen.

For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him. ~Psalms 103:11-13

Chicks Update

(remainder are clickable for larger images)

Heh!
sneaked in another flower

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. ~Galatians 6:9

Cousin Annie's Flowers

All the talk and photos here of flowersflowersflowers spawned some exchanges on the topic between Cousin Annie and me, resulting in my receipt last night of some of her flower photos. Cousin Annie lives far north of me and farfar south of me. Just go with it.

She sent these images of profuse and delicate wildflowers behind her home on Tablerock Lake:




And having asked if her peonies were blooming "up there" at her other home (since I have a single bloom on my odd, flat-faced peony bush), she sent these, amongst her photos of what she calls her "tame" flowers:




Boy howdy, I'd say Cousin Annie's peony bushes are blooming up there. What's up with that!?

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. ~John 15:4-5

SugarPlum Fish

Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, to the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen. ~Jude 1:24, 25

Why?

I snapped 131 photos today. Well, SugarPlum was enjoying her first swim of the season, and it's a universally known fact that each nana's plum has a cuteness factor of 10, and every movement must be captured on film (or digitally tattooed on a hard drive). I knew I'd snapped 131 times, because the camera told me I had. So imagine my surprise when I began to upload photos and noticed they numbered over 140. Remember that I'm sometimes taken aback by discoveries that others have been using the camera?

Yes, this is the same child who approached me with two purple straws inserted into his beverage and into his nostrils. He wears these gloves while he does chicken chores. I'm rabidly, warringly opposed to the barbaric custom of washing one's child's mouth out with soap (yet such perpetrators would be a good fit in the current administration of uncivil government -- oops, who typed that!?), although something along those lines crossed my frantic mind when I found these photos. Too late anyway, as the photos dated 48 hours old, so any germs had had their way, and he still looks happy and healthy.

Why?

But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee. ~Psalm 5:11

Swimwear (not)

I thought yesterday to yammer about the two fabrics I ordered to make myself new swim dresses, and I planned to tell on myself for selecting a wildly colored and patterned nylon spandex, which upon my selfingness would have proclaimed, "Shamu Rocks!" I was even willing to risk loss of liberty by pilfering the swatch graphic from the fabric store's website, confident Cousin Annie would bake me a cake with a saw blade in it, should the need arise.

But I ran out of blathering time. And before I could make my way back to the computer, the fabric store had phoned to tell me that selection was out of stock. Rats. Not one to make a quick decision, I couldn't tell the sales representative whether to ship the remaining selection alone or replace the missing one with another fabric choice. Moreover, I couldn't get him to tell me what time zone he's in, so I'd know what time this morning I could phone with my decision. Three times he tried to impress upon me that even if he wasn't in until 10:00 a.m., I could phone his assistant at 9:00 a.m. The fourth time I tried to discover his time zone (it went something like, "WHERE ARE YOU!?"), I was finally able to learn I can call at 8:00 a.m., if I want to. Whew!



So while my children can heave a sigh of relief that Mom won't be doing her Esther Williams impression in a clown suit, they still need to worry about the old milk barn.






Feeling all lavenderish this year, I've been thinking about painting the barn gumball purple. Now wouldn't that be most striking?







Thinking ahead, though, and considering how fond I am of pink, I wonder if it might be most prudent to add pink polka dots, so that we might not have to repaint next summer.

Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him. James 1:12

Flowers

All clickable for a larger image...if you're all about flowers.

O worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness: fear before him, all the earth. Say among the heathen that the LORD reigneth: the world also shall be established that it shall not be moved: he shall judge the people righteously. Let the heavens rejoice, and let the earth be glad; let the sea roar, and the fulness thereof. Let the field be joyful, and all that is therein: then shall all the trees of the wood rejoice before the LORD: for he cometh, for he cometh to judge the earth: he shall judge the world with righteousness, and the people with his truth. ~Psalm 96:9-13

Wear Sunglasses

Don't squint.

Wear sunglasses.

If you squint, your face will become a healthy, sunkissed shade of tan, but all those crinkles (read: deep grooves) you've acquired around your eyes -- through laughing and glowering (you may be 55 years old, for cryin' in a bucket, and have done a lot of both) -- will be lily-white lines upon your countenance, shouting OLD LADY! OLD LADY!

Rude.

No need to thank me for sharing from my vast wealth of knowledge. And don't EVEN ask me how I learned this. It's none of your beeswax.



He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. ~Psalms 91:1

Cloudy and Windy

...but that didn't stop me from strolling around outdoors this morning with the camera. A crisp image of breeze-blown flowers is impossible for me to capture. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the thoughts of God's glory and majesty these brought to mind. All my days, I will never understand how or why anyone believes in the theory of evolution, so obvious is the Creator's hand in all He has made.

And look who showed up with her brood.

For thus saith the Lord that created the heavens; God himself that formed the earth and made it; he hath established it, he created it not in vain, he formed it to be inhabited: I am the Lord; and there is none else. Isaiah 45:18

Amen.

The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. ~Psalm 53:1