Knucklehead Knovice

It's no secret I've never canned anything before in my life. My friends and family have long known I was muchly afeared I'd poison someone, so everything got frozen. This year's fruit crop left me no choice in the matter, so I pulled up my courage and bought jars and a canner. *theme from Jaws plays in background*

When I made and canned the peach preserves/butter, after the fact, I wrote to a local gal and asked her which directions I'd read had been correct, because I'd water bathed the first 6 jars, and while they were bathing, I'd found online the opinion that hot preserves would seal themselves and needn't be further processed. I left the second 6 jars on the counter, rightly sealed, then read later in the day that they should be processed, so I refilled the canner and gave them a good boil, being all freaked out over making people sick in the first place. I reckoned I better check with someone who really knew what she was doing, and her opinion was that counter-sealing was fine. I was glad they all got boiled to death anyway.

Enter my nekked, canned pears, when I'm beginning to feel like QueenCanner. I should have known something was awry, when twice the recommended measure of syrup was needed to fill the quart jars, but noooo; I just gave a little growl and made some more syrup. Ding-dong. When they say "pack," they mean pack.


Aren't I cute? ºÜº All you veterans can enjoy a laugh with me, QueenCannerNot. Zoomer or Mrs. Piecrust, you might let me know if this floating pear situation is going to cause anything other than my red face. Like those pears all pokin' up out of the jug o' syrup and into the airspace -- are they going to be a problem?



The LORD hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad. ~Psalm 126:3

Water

Downloading the photo of my pathetic pear butter project results, I wondered what that other thumbnail was: someone's watch, a compass? Oh, that.

When I asked Son3 to read the water meter for me, he'd returned with a photo and recited the numbers from the camera's preview screen. Novel idea.


Since we shoot in 27" x 36" size, I think I should frame this baby and sell it on eBay for a gazillion dollars, because someone with a loft in NYC might call it art...and help pay for the results of the ever-rolling numbers on the meter.


But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. ~Matthew 6:20, 21

Pears - *waaa*

Peel, core, slice -- making a drippy, sticky mess of myself.

Dump in large crockpot.

Toss in spices willynilly.

Take out that bag of frozen raspberries I've had thawing in the fridge and be glad for glass shelves, because the thing apparently had a pinhole somewhere and flooded the whole shelf with raspberry juice -- the raspberry juice I'd planned to add to pear butter.

Put raspberries in a sieve and moosh.

Notice the seeds are popping through the mesh.

Transfer raspberries to white, cotton dish towel and squeeze like nobody's business.

Cook till kingdom come.

Can.

About twenty hours total. Okay, okay, so I slept through most of it; just let a girl have her whine.

Three pints, plus 1¾ cups in the fridge.
That's just wrong.
*waaa*

Round two in the pot with crushed pineapple and orange extract. Will the other 985# of pears be rotted by April?

Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest. ~Proverbs 6:6-8

Make It Go Away

*waaa*

clickable
[And if you're into the macabre, go ahead. Click it.]
*waaaa*

*waaaaaa*

I delivered Bammy's breakfast anyway, ducking under the guy wire, which spanned the twenty feet to the clothesline tree.

*waaaaaaa*

And in that day will I make a covenant for them with the beasts of the field, and with the fowls of heaven, and with the creeping things of the ground: and I will break the bow and the sword and the battle out of the earth, and will make them to lie down safely. ~Hosea 2:18

Pears - s.c.a.r.y

We picked a fourth of the pears and, as a result, have about 250# of fruit ripening in our living room and on the front porch. Were it not for the ones which provided sustenance for the pickers and others which burst upon falling to the ground or bouncing off of ladder rungs, the numbers would be greater. Every yelp heard provided confirmation that another pear had survived the fall from a great height by ricocheting off a picker's body before it hit the ground. Pear-pickin' is downright dangerous. Thoughts of forthcoming, Biblical hailstorms were skittering about in my mind.


Although we've previously discussed my rusty math skills, this poundage is easy enough to calculate: We have nigh-on half a ton of pears, three-quarters of which are still dangling from the trees.

Allowing for weight loss in coring and peeling, I reckon I may be facing upwards of six or seven hundred pounds of processed pears. Therefore, I am now accepting contributions (check or money order) to The 2008 Pear Fund, said monies being collected for the purchase of 4,000 canning jars and a room addition. Thank you and amen.


I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings. ~Jeremiah 17:10