Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Loo's Loo

Little Loo is toilet training her cats. Toilet. T.O.I.L.E.T

Hold it, hold it, hold it. This wasn't my idea, so save your criticisms and snickers for the OAO Daughter. I'm just trying to be very supportive, don't ya know. What is that pronouncement she makes with regularity? I think it's something like, "You're not my mom. You're my dream crusher." Ex-cuuuuse mee.

On the phone recently...

Loo: So is there anything going on in your life that I haven't thought to ask about?

Mama Moo: Huh?

Loo: Is there anything going on in your life that I haven't thought to ask about?

Mama Moo: Well, I can't think of anything. And if I've forgotten something, that's probably best, so let's not go poking around looking for it.

Loo: Oh, okay.

*finger tapping*.......
*twirling hair*.......

Loo: *pouty voice* Well, you haven't asked me about the potty training.

Mama Moo: Oh! Oh! That's right. I'm sorry. Well, how's the kitty potty training going? (Strike 2,437 for the mama figure. Am I out yet?)

Then we discussed the graduation from litterbox on the floor to litterpan on the toilet, and how the cats aren't using the purchased steps to make their way from the floor to the elevated litterpan, but they're leaping to their destination. *yay daughter* *yay kitties* *yawn* (<---kidding! Honest Injun!)

Today, she put me on speaker phone as she cut a hole in the bottom of the litterpan, which is at this point, actually, a disposable roasting pan meticulously duct taped to the toilet. The hole she cut is supposed to accomplish something like acclimating the cats to the absence of some litter; prod them to accept perching above a watery abyss. (Cats are really keen on watery abysses, don'tcha know.) Right now, there's a colander beneath the makeshift litterpan, and if I could remember why, I'd tell you, just so you'd be all knowledgeable about kitty toilet training. Sorry, I can't remember. And at this point, taking meals at Little Loo's house isn't sounding very appealing, since there are bakeware and food prep implements now residing in the toilet. I know they're slated for the trash, but .... ew.

As I sat listening while Loo amended the roasting pan today, I started thinking about silky cat paws and slippery, enameled toilet seats. I suggested it might be a good idea to purchase an inexpensive, padded, vinyl clad seat for that toilet -- you know, in the main bathroom...the one we (and the cats!?!) will use when we visit McSpazzy and McKrunk. I think those cats need something to sink their claws into. Loo doesn't think so. I think Loo's going to be chasing neurotic cats, dripping with toilet water. And they'll be shrieking at her, "Litter Looter!"

What will she think of next?

Oh. Loo reads my blog.

Hey, Loo! You go, Girl! What a great kitty-mommy!

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8


Janie said...

Cough. Well, I had never heard of anyone toilet training a cat. Cats don't seem....cooperative???? I can't picture this one, but I don't know much about animals, either. I guess if a pot bellied pig can be litter box trained almost anything can happen!

Cousin Annie said...

Hey, Loo...Could you help me toilet train BobDog?? Then I wouldn't have to go out in the cold with him. Don't worry about what your mom would think of it! ;)