Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Facebook ID Photo Tutorial

Not.
Not really.
But I updated my ID photo today, and the gyrations were mildly interesting.

One can access a real tutorial here, which is where I began to understand the magicNot which occurs with photos uploaded to Facebook.  And it was through the counsel on that website that I learned an ID photo should be 160 pixels by 160 pixels.  To preserve clarity, uploading double that size, 320 pixels x 320 pixels, is advised.  I assume the web page author has tested this with good results.

Do I want good resolution at my age?  Prettymuch not.  However, my own past experience has taught me the ID photo size is increased in the photo album, itself, and if I’m going to be blown up, I’d prefer to not also be terribly pixelated, for a pixel-raggedy face is about as uncomely as, and more bizarre than, one bearing the etchings of real time; a very long flood stream of real time.   So I chose 320 x 320 as my base photo size.  Yes, it needs to be a square, or Facebook will apply their own cropping tool, and one doesn’t want to become a blockhead or lose a limb.

Now, I didn’t want my whole, old selfingness tattooed on the Internet.  My face would be humbling enough.  Neither, though, did I want that in size SCARE-US.  So I measured Facebook’s album presentation of my last ID photo.  The thing measured more in the neighborhood of 365 x 380, so I‘m not sure where Mr. Tutorial got his figures, and that’s way too much of my face in yours 


“I can beat this thing.”

I put a gray border around my me-photo.  I was getting smaller.  Then a put a white picture frame around the gray, said frame actually being a blotchy white edging.  Next, I put a blue picture frame inside the white one, this comprised only of some thin, faint lines, tying it to the trim color in the page header and hopefully having the effect of drawing others‘ attention from MY FACE: “Oh look, how did she get those blue lines on there?”  *snort*

Now I totaled 380 x 380, further diminishing my SCARE-US factor, for a goodly bit of ME was framing.  How accomplished did I feel?  A bit.

The worst element in the process, though, is uploading the photo, for no matter how quickly one reloads the page and deletes the resulting post from her timeline, it stinkin’ hits the News Feeds.  NO!  STOP IT!  Don’t make people try to think of nice things to say to me about that photo!  For cryin’ in a bucket, I did all that maneuvering in an effort to be small and unnoticeable, and you slammed a report in the evening news.  Cruel. 

I’d only changed the photo because the last one had a shadow cast on my forehead which looked like I was wearing Buster Brown bangs.  I bore that shame for several months, actually preferring it over the News Feed’s mouthy LOOK AT HER! which would result from switching out the photo.  Where’s a rock?  …Are you kidding me?  I wouldn’t fit under that thing.  Just look at me.  NO, I DIDN’T MEAN THAT.  DON’T LOOK AT ME! 





When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek.  Psalm 27:8