Wednesday, November 17, 2010

USB FB and UB


USB
Would be the name of the camera cord I misplaced, and blogging just isn't the same for me without photos, so I've been mighty quiet of late.  Desperate, I'm relying today upon graphics.

FB
Would be Harvey's latest field of play.  It seems I walked away from the laptop while the browser was tuned to Facebook (FB), and while I did hear from afar the familiar, doinking keyboard noises and figured Harvey was dancing on it, I didn't know until much later that he'd logged into FB chat.  I don't do chat, myself.  If I didn't have a phone, or I wanted to talk to someone overseas, I'd consider it.  Harvey doesn't have a phone — or a voice — so I suppose he thought he should avail himself of the service.  He's much smarter than I, because it took me forever to figure out how to close the silly thing, and I'll have to ask "Anna" if she chatted with him, because I noticed she was in there.

UB
Would be a friend's abbreviation of Ugly Be-hinder parts that tend to plague women of advancing age.  I thought it was really cute that she'd fashioned a quick-type term for "it."  I thought of her this morning — and it wasn't cute — when I grabbed a size-gasp denim pencil skirt from the closet, showered, then discovered I couldn't get my UB to fit inside.  I slithered back to the closet for one in size-justgoaheadandshootme, donned it with the aid of a pry bar, and waddled out of the bathroom saying, "I don't think I can clean house in this thing.  I seem to be having trouble just walking in it."  When I sat down and felt like I was having an unplanned, emergency appendectomy or something, I hit the closet for a third time, choosing A-line with elastic back!  Ahhh.  And RATS!

I have to go clean house now.  You've seen me close many posts with, "Sometimes it's the little things."  Today, IT'S THE BIG THINGS.






And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; and to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; and to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.  For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.  II Peter 1:5-8

1 comment:

willow (not very willowly anymore) said...

Must comment I related to the UB discussion
with amusement - resigned amusement that is.
Here - I've been followed around by an advanced case of bubble-butt giganticness. Seriously - this mammoth mound of flesh seems to be unrelentingly attached and refuses to leave or decrease in girth!
(something has taken over my body - it is aided by the onslaught of gravity as well!)

On the upside, and the only saving grace whatsoever to this colossal behind - is the fact that it keeps my ever protruding stomach from causing me to tip over, falling forward on my red face.

I'm not sure whose body this is- but I am clearly trapped inside it now.

I fear the only rational hope for escape will come-
when the mortal puts on immorality - until then
I'll just keep bumping into myself and avoiding mirrors.

sigh